[mood| Distressed ]

Well, I got back from my piano camp on Friday night and had a great time as always...though this year it turns out that my favorite teacher at the camp couldn't make it due to a last minute emergency, which was kind of disappointing. I always love being able to chat with her and catch up on things, but there was definitely something missing and I'm sure it was her presence...she is just so inspirational. But I still enjoyed it overall, my saxophone performance went well and everything...and I was glad that I had the chance to attend. Everytime I have to say goodbye at the end, they all tell me how wonderful it was to have me there and how they hope to see me back yet again as the teen coordinator for next year. I have been there since the beginning, and they all say that it just wouldn't be piano camp without me! I think that's pretty nice. I'll keep coming back as long as they'll have me! I just love that place and all the connections I have formed there. I never regret going and it's a truly necessary part of my summer.

Anyway, on to the real point of this entry...

I was scheduled to leave on a 3-week trip to Montana tomorrow, and was really excited about that...but due to a medical situation, my trip is going to be postponed until later in the week. I've been having problems with a low white blood count (WBC) for the past few months, and probably for about a total of 2 years now, though we've just now become aware of the potential seriousness as it seems to be getting worse and more demanding of attention. I had it checked in April when I was sick with a bad virus, and it was 2.5...the normal WBC range for healthy adults is 4-10, so mine was pretty low. The doctor thought it may have just been that low because I was sick, and suggested for me to go in for another test when I was healthy. So last week, which was two months later (I should have gone in again sooner but there wasn't ever a real convenient opportunity to do so), I had it tested again at my annual physical and it came out to be 2.3, even lower than when I was sick. They didn't know what it could be because they didn't find anything else to be wrong in my physical, so they referred me to a special hemotology and oncology clinic in the same building, and that's the appointment I went to today.

I went in and discussed the situtation with a doctor as well as had a few more blood tests run. They checked my vitals and everything first, and nothing else seems to be wrong with me...everything came out well on my physical the previous week and I just don't seem to have any symptoms of anything at all...I seem to be in pretty good health otherwise at the moment. So due to that and several other factors, we were able to rule out things like HIV, hepatitus, and lupus...because in those cases I would have other major symptoms. The doctor ran a few blood tests, one again for the WBC, and the others for vitamin deficiencies/absorption and certain infections. Only the WBC blood test came back while I was there, and it turns out that my white blood count is even lower than before...1.6! It really freaked me out and it just kind of shocks me that it keeps getting lower and lower...it was 2.3 last week, and now it's 1.6. And we have not yet determined why it's happening/what could be causing it.

So, in light of that, my doctor scheduled another appointment for Thursday to do a bone marrow biopsy. By examining my bone marrow, where the white blood cells are formed and everything, he thinks he will be able to determine what is going on. According to him it basically comes down to two possibilities...either my bone marrow isn't producing enough white blood cells, or they are producing enough but then something in my system is killing them off somehow...possibly a result of some kind of infection or other dysfunctional thing. He just won't have a good idea until he runs this test. And so that's why he asked me to stay behind and get it done this week rather than in 3 weeks. Originally, if my WBC had come out around the same as before or not too much lower, I could have still gone to Montana tomorrow...he acknowledges that the WBC does fluctuate a bit, and I could have gone tomorrow and just have receieved an injection of white blood cells to hold me over while I was there and make sure that I didn't pick up an infection. But seeing as my WBC was a lot lower than before and bordering upon being dangerously so, the doctor felt better scheduling this bone marrow biopsy for sooner rather than later, so he could get right to the problem and start whatever treatment may be necessary right away. It will still take 10 days for the biopsy results to come back...but the sooner we know what's wrong, the better. The shot of white blood cells, although it would have helped temporarily, would have just masked the real issue...we need to figure out what is functionally wrong here, or if there's some kind of infection causing all of this. At any rate, his main concern right now is that given my really low WBC I'm at a pretty high risk for infection...so I'm supposed to be extra careful and wash my hands a lot, avoid large public places/gatherings, and avoid people who may be sick and contagious. I just couldn't afford to get a serious infection right now...my immune system is obviously vulnerable due to the lack of WBC's and couldn't handle it. I'd have to get on a rigorous course of antibiotics to deal with it and that just wouldn't be preferable.

So...with all of that...I'm quite stressed and worried. I know that the doctors are going to discover what's going on and it sounds like whatever it is, there'll be something to treat it and fix it...the doctor didn't leave any doubt about that...there didn't seem to be a great deal of concern that we can figure this out and treat it in some fashion. There will be a course of action and we'll do whatever is necessary. It's just disappointing because I really wanted to leave tomorrow as planned and go be with my grandmother...because on top of this medical situtation that's stressing me out, my family is still having issues with my brothers and drugs, and all that lovely stuff...not too much fun to be around, and certainly not helpful. I will look forward to leaving on Thursday evening or Friday morning, and having this test be over...because it doesn't sound like it will be a pleasant experience. *shudder*

I will update again if/when I know something new. There are still a few more tests from today that need to be returned...I don't know if they'll make a difference but they could tell me something else. *waits anxiously* All I can do is try to be strong and remain positive...that's all I can do to get through it. And I know I'll have lots of support along the way, no matter what. I will hope for the best.